When the World Feels Unsafe

When the World Feels Unsafe: How to Talk With Children About Violence in the News

How to Talk With Children About Violence in the News

Some weeks, it’s hard to look away. A headline. A siren. A press conference. A shaken community. And suddenly, the world feels like it’s tipped on its axis.

Whether it’s violence in a shopping centre, a terrifying act of terrorism, or a tragedy in a nearby suburb; when these events unfold, our children notice. They overhear conversations, see the news, catch whispers in the schoolyard, or feel the shift in our energy even before we say a word.

And then the questions come.

"Are we safe?"

"Why would someone do that?"

"Will that happen here?"

As adults, we might not have all the answers. But we do have something incredibly powerful: the ability to hold space for these fears and help our children feel grounded, seen, and heard.

Start with Safety - Not Explanations

When children ask about violent events, it’s natural to want to explain, to offer facts, or to soothe them quickly with “Don’t worry, that won’t happen here.” But what most kids really need first is emotional safety.

Start by affirming how they feel:

“That was scary.”

“You’re not the only one feeling worried right now.”

“I’m here. Let’s talk about it.”

Before we can teach, reassure, or correct misinformation, we need to connect. Anxiety loosens its grip when children feel heard.

Filter the News (But Don’t Pretend It’s Not Happening)

Depending on their age, your child may have different levels of understanding or exposure. While young children often benefit from limited media exposure, older kids and teens may already know more than we realise, and may be silently stewing in confusion, fear, or anger.

You don’t need to give them every detail but avoid vague dismissals.Instead:

“Yes, something terrible happened. Naturally many people are sad and scared. And there are helpers, lots of them, working to take care of people and make sure things are safe again.”

Balance realism with hope. The goal is not to pretend the world is perfect, but to show that even in dark times, there is care, community, and recovery.

Let Their Questions Lead the Way

It’s okay not to have all the answers. What matters is staying curious about what your child is really asking.

Sometimes “Why would someone do that?” is a question about human behaviour, but sometimes it’s a question about whether they’re safe at school today.

Gently ask:

“That’s a big question. What made you wonder that?”

“What do you think about it?”

“Is there something that’s worrying you the most?”

When we slow down, we can respond to the question behind the question.

Reaffirm Routines and Rebuild Calm

Big world events often trigger a sense of unpredictability. For children and honestly, for us adults too, everyday structure becomes a soft landing.

Keep the bedtime routines. The pancake Sundays. The after-school walks. These ordinary things aren’t trivial, they are anchors. They remind children that their little world remains intact, even when the big world feels shaky.

If they seem particularly anxious, give them something small they can control: picking dinner, choosing tomorrow’s outfit, writing a note to someone who helped during the event. Action helps calm fear.

It’s Okay to Be Upset Too

Your children don’t need you to be a perfectly calm robot. If you’re sad, shaken, or angry about what’s happened, that’s okay. Let them see that emotions are normal and that we can feel big things without falling apart.

Just be mindful to share in a way that reassures:

“Yes, I feel sad too. But I also know we’ll get through this together.”

“I don’t have all the answers, but I promise to keep talking with you and taking care of you.”

Final Thoughts

We can’t shield our children from every hard thing in the world. But we can help them feel safe in our presence. We can help them make meaning out of fear. And we can teach them that even in grief, even in confusion, we can move forward with kindness, connection, and courage.

So, if this week has felt heavy be gentle with yourself, too.

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